This is hard to explain. As the single daughter in the family, I became responsible for the care of my elderly parents. I provided daily, intense care for both for more than 15 years before losing them a little over a year ago. My dad was 100 and my mother was 94, and they passed just a few days apart.
I didn't realize the stress and toll that elder care was taking on my spirit. I loved them dearly and I have no regrets but after they were gone, I found myself empty.... just empty. I wrote in a group last summer that I couldn't find any hopes and dreams for myself other than sitting in the sun by a pool on a warm summer day. And just as I was rebuilding myself, this diagnosis hit hard... and any chance of being able to sit by that pool and rest is now gone again as I go through this cancer scare.
This seems very unfair to be celebrating my birthday (NOT) four days after surgery... when I just wanted to sit by a pool and hang with family.
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