Shifts and Challenges with Friendships After A Divorce
#divorceadvice #relationshipcoaching #movingforward
Private Coach With Me 👇
http://www.ivyivers.com
I N S T A G R A M https://www.instagram.com/ivyjivers/?...
No one gets married assuming a divorce will be following down the line. People get married with the intention of a lifetime together and hope for the future, however things can change. Personalities shift, people grow apart, desires change, and sometimes couples go through issues that are irreparable. Sometimes in life it’s best for both parties to move on and find happiness alone or with someone new, verse living a lonely or obligated existence with their husband or wife to keep an image up to those around them.
After a divorce those who were close to you go through their own processing of what has happened. Perhaps friends or family had your relationship on a pedestal not really knowing the real issues behind the scenes. Perhaps those close to you in your family or social circle do not believe in divorce so there are judgements that arise. Perhaps your divorce triggers feelings about their marriage and reminds them that theirs is less than perfect. As common as divorce is, most the people in your life will also go through a grieving process along with you when your divorce becomes public.
Family
Your immediate family can be a mixed bag. Generally, they will stand by you and support you, but sometimes they will also make sure to let you know they are disappointed. Family members don’t always act in the highest form of self after a divorce. They don’t always have the emotional capability to acknowledge that you are already hurting and going through so much change.
Those close to us are not always sensitive enough to understand not to kick a person when they are down, so if they project feelings of disappointment just understand that this is more about their own ego then their disappointments in your failed marriage. Family members don’t always want to have to share with their extended friends or family circle that the divorce happened, due to societal shame. Despite divorces being common, societal shame and hypocrisy is not in any way uncommon. Even people who are previously divorced can be judgmental of others who divorce.
It is important to remember that when people related to you are casting judgment and going through their process of accepting your divorce, that it is simply because they would rather just have everything remained as it was - it’s not about you it’s about them. They are acting small minded and selfish but this will pass. They are going through changes just as you are, so be patient with them and find the inner strength to accept that the divorce effects everyone in its own way, and often those closest to us are not able to be their best selves during times of change.
In Laws
In laws will likely pull away especially if you do not have children, this is natural. It’s painful and it’s a big shift, but it’s very challenging to have a friendship with a past in-law as you try to move on and get into a new relationship. If your moving on or dating again, eventually there will be less and less to talk about and your conversation will be guarded and limited. You will not want feel comfortable to share anything about your personal life. It is a hard shift when often times you have known these people many years, so be prepared for this to not be easy, but it is another reality of a divorce that needs to be expected.
If you have children this means in laws will likely be in your life frequently. If the children are young in age it’s best to stay friendly with in laws, even if you didn’t have an amicable divorce. You will very likely be seeing your ex’s parents often, as they are the grand parents to your children and it’s best to keep on good terms. This will create stability for the children who are innocent and don’t need to be brought into any negativity from a divorce.
Friends
Your original friends you came into the marriage with generally remain. Your BFF from high school, your college roommate, whoever you have that was from your pre-married life, generally will stay by your side which is why it’s important to nurture and keep long lasting friends. These are the people who are a constant in your life despite anything that may happen. They will not judge you, they will support you and be there for you.
When it comes to mutual friends that remain friends with both the ex’s, you can expect comments or gossip about your ex soon after the divorce, but eventually that fades away. People move onto new topics eventually and life marches on, but it’s important to expect some back and forth gossip during the early days after a divorce while people are still learning about boundaries and what is appropriate or not to share. You can always make it clear right away that you don’t want to hear about your ex and most people will understand that and end the behavior.
Смотрите видео Shifts and Challenges with Friendships After A Divorce онлайн без регистрации, длительностью часов минут секунд в хорошем качестве. Это видео добавил пользователь Ivy Ivers 21 Март 2021, не забудьте поделиться им ссылкой с друзьями и знакомыми, на нашем сайте его посмотрели 1,708 раз и оно понравилось 15 людям.