D:
b4 when i used to write i used to be able to write and write and WRITE! AND! write!! and so one until i would hit a single roadblock, like forgetting a word or something which would force me to reconsider the whole point of writing anything at all and being hit with the most horrible retroactive writers block where eveerything i had just wrote would be ejected from my own personal noosphere and i would not be able to perceive my own ideas and i would just shut down and think so hard but not in brain language anymore. . . nowadays i think i am becoming better and getting over this but i now slowly become more and more and more jittery and shiver-like the more i write about things that are real to me.. idk how to explain it i just become more and more nonsensical i think until its all worthless
idk where it comes from but i just hate to write something and have it not 100% reflect the feelings i was feeling at that time , everything i write has a meaning a purpose, , every misspelling and syntax diction choice is MINe! i think that might be sort of problem to bcuz i dont think in terms of breaks, pauses, and the like (i dont think anyone does tbh) so i usually dont use that many punctuation marks or capitalization or nothing.. . i think it makes for good free writing maybe but reading it - - atrocious, so sometimes i just find the wet slime my mind hath wrought a fortnight proir and bring over the containment crew over to sanitize and make reada palata- readable
idk when i wrote this and there is no way im gonna read it again sorry for the paragraphs ok kthxbai
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