truck
idk what going on but i think that people think that im weird,, , i really dont see it but i do see ppl saying stuff like 'least deranged qtg blogpost' or stuff like that like why would you say that I AM NORMAL.. and i didnt even mean to say that in a sarcastically aggressive way to denote insecurity on the topic (although i guess i do now)..
ireally do think that i am just normal, and happen to write stuff down and ""somehow"" people read it, i really do think that if more people did this that simallar thoughts only fit for brainspace would be more normalized but unfortunately its not,, kinda sucks because i really love when i meet someone and i can talk like i do now, although im not sure if this is a conversation style fit for multiple people.. .which is lonely because only the person spewing brain garbage really gets it, while the recipient is either politely waiting for u too stop or confused or actively ignoring you... which is why i think that if i ever am seriously romantically involved, i think it will be with a person which i think will be a lot like me,,, idk if thats narcissistic or something i just already like to talk to a temporally displaced version of myself through writing, rereading, and editing these things, and i think i would like it if i could talk to someone who was myself but also different that would be cool i think..... .. ahh just reading that sounds so bad i swear i dont love myself too much like that i umm yknow what i mean,, ok umm im off topic i think
idk i figured that i was just normal, just in my head a bit too much, but who isnt?? and can u blame me tbh
so i guess, even thought i dont really like to call to action, 'normality' is inherently populous i thinkk,, so dear Audience, how normal am i?!?!? (idk what to say in these parentheses i feel like i should comment on the absolutely stupid question at this posed, but i think the social commentary writes itself at this point, so i just leave this aside here as an acknoledgement, yeah i know this is dumb)
aahh this all feels all to much like im talking to something else and i like to write with a one track mind and conversation is really a lot different than that and it feels weird eek,,, ((YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME RUIN THE SACRED FOURTH WALL!! 😤))
so yeah i really dont like my personality right now i am very disengenous and layered in irony which i dont even think is funny or really even meta-funny, which is why i do it, as a meta-meta-humor, which is really just makes me feel dum but thats why i do it?? idk its compulsive idk what to call this mood im in maybe kinda manic but very very very very very mild version, i dont want to romanticize mania of all things but idk how else to say
also this mood makes me more likely to write my thoughts down basically as i have them, which is not clever i will stop now
omg what is this i was trying to argue that i am normal and just human thought is wierd and now it looks like im being weird on purpose! its like people who say jerma is deranged and insane, no its just that hearing what people think without being them is jarring because u dont know all the mental weird jumps in thier head and thier mood and experiences and their inside jokes and thier subtle refferences and behaviors which they picked up from previous people! i should have just said that!
i hate this description sorry past qtg i dont like u (i still think im normal i just hate this execution)
why did i write this i hate this who tf cares about ur brain garbage just wrap it up
song of the day: thanks god - F*CK BOY : • thanks god - F*CK BOY (OFFICIAL MUSIC...
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