marcus pumpkin
hillo all, sorry for the hiatus or whateever i didnt actually realize i was gone for 6 months sorry
i was thinking of whether i should keep this desc. short, because i really do not want it too look like me returining is such a big deal, bcuz i know its not, i just post things and i do not want to presume that i command some presence and need a wordy introduction whenever i decide to click a couple buttons on youtube,com
however, with this i have offivially made my description too long already so i might as well extend it to the point that its comical
to, i guess, pad out the length of this description, i have decided to address the comments of the last video... ermm,, 'roblox rp' i believe
idk rly know vro i have mixed feelings about being put on a platform, especially being such a bottom feeder channel
i have unknowingly posted other people's content before and had thousands of views, and it makes me feel terrible, and the worst part is that i would not be proactive enough about it, and of course i would feel terrible when someone in the comments points it out and i take it down of course, but just this is really hard to keep doing and to feel good about it, yknow.
i started this channel because i found myself with an influx of content that was obscure and pretty much impossible to find with search engines, so i decided to become a pseudo-archive,org of sorts and host this rare content on my channel, no ads or monitization enabled, just existing to, as my channel description stated, make obscure funny media easier to access for everyone. i started to fear what i was doing when i started to get popular. and i was kinda mortified when i surpassed many of the channels that where my inspiration, like all the channels i feature in the featured channels section of my page. call this the oppenheimer effect because i was 'scared' of something that was an obvious consequence of all my previous actions, but i really was in a dilemma. i wanted to make this 'archive' public, but i also did not want to overshadow any single creator on this site because they are actually doing something cool, creating, when im just here posting.. in the end, i decided, what could i do? as long as i tried my hardest to be absolutely sure that i was not posting something that was not obscure, then i could fulfill my duty and not feel bad. occasionaly i will mess up, that is just a fact, but i will never have any reservations about deleting a video, because i know that my ignorance is not an excuse
the next thing that started to be weird, at least to me, is the descriptions that many like this channel for, i guess. as ive said, idk how many times by now, i started these descriptions as sort of public diaries. idk what drove me to this quite strange idea, but i thought it would be cool to talk in a public textbox, but pretend like nobody but me could read it, so i would just spout whatever i was thinking about that day and post it with no context, maybe occasionally chuckling at a strangers addition to my rambling, or a comment like 'are we gonna ignore that description??'. idk how it happened but i started addressing the comment section more directly as of late, i think around the time that people started noticing these descriptions on masse. for example in this very description i am in a weird inbetween state where i know a lot of people will prolly read this, but i dont want to address you directly (zamn i just did and it felt strange to me, i think its the first time i ever did that). overall, this whole wordy nothing can be summarized with: i am continually learning about the extent of existing on this site means, and i am pretty mortified of the impact that i have, if i was myself but different, and qtg still ran this channel, i would love it so much, this is the 'archive' channel i always was striving to be, but its almost like i cannot wait to fall off, ala kiryano, maybe this hiatus will finally do it and no one will read this, and tbh, i dont know what ill feel if that was the case, most likely nothing
i would say im readdy to be regular and scheduled, but im not so i wont
i feel bad about posting this for somereason, i feel like i should apologize to the vague notion of the Audience to some reason.. im sorry, for some reason
i was originally gonna make this a 2500 word analysis on the moniker, 'quaggy', but im not emmotionaly ready for that
ew i feel like a different person i dont know at this point if i am apologizing to the audience or the self i remember that would regularly write about themselved, i kinda dont like the style and language i am useing right now and i feel bad for my past self just 1000 ews why am i typing this right now idk its kinda hard to stop when i start and i really dont mind voicing this online its not really especially unique, interesting, and or incriminating so why the he*ck not huh
anyways the sog of the day is H.U.M2.E.R by james ferraro
• Bodyguard - H.U.M2.E.R.
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