For People Who Are Hard To Love
A special thanks to the people who contributed to this video during the summer, my friends lo.ose for their musical talent, my friend Melissa for being a rockstar, and the artist Jen Mazza who allowed me to use her painting in the thumbnail of the video. her unedited work is here
https://bit.ly/3wpAHO7
🔰Support me on Patreon: / illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗 / _illneas
🔗 / illneas
🔗 / illneas
🔗https://open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfB...
Second channel
🔗 / @akidwithacameraorjustillneas
🔰Communities
- / discord
- / 2314655172176122
- / searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The thumbnail is a painting by Jen Mazza
https://jenmazza.com/
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
/ melissa_melicious
/ @melissa_melicious
-The music is this:
LO.OSE - Summer Depression
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy...
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
https://amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
https://amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
https://amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Hard To Love by illneas
I remember feeling happy when I was folding your clothes
The shadow of my fingers tracing my unfinished dreams in the morning sun
I remember a broken candle from a past birthday,
A confetti piece from your graduation,
A picture of you with your mother
I remember you telling me to open up and heal
I use my heartstrings to stitch my mouth and I scream in artistic expression
I remember you trying to find the courage to kiss me
Just to share the metallic taste of blood on my lips
I remember that summer
Your fingers scribbling poems on my back
I remember feeling happy with the salt on my skin
It's impossible to feel ugly with your invisible ink on my body
I remember you begging me to go to therapy
While I was bending ideas to justify my ego
Thinking the canvas of life could be manipulated by the world's smartest idiot
I remember watching you petting cats
It's impossible to feel sad with a cat between your legs
I remember talking to you about the poems I never wrote
Poetry seems pointless when you know me that well
I remember laughing at your silly comments
I remember that night
Telling me that you are afraid of change
I remember when I told you that I need to distance myself from you
I remember your eyes
You looked away to hide your vulnerability from me
I can't forget that silence
You think I have a broken heart
While I'm sure I'm just a broken person
You think I hide behind my poems
While I'm trying to convince myself that I exist
You think I lost myself in the maze of my memories
While I'm afraid of forgetting how it feels to fold your clothes
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