Max Payne 2 - Funny Pizza Guy Interrogation
A side-dialogue in Part II of Max Payne 2. The dialogue is between a cop and a man accused of shooting his wife and the pizza delivery guy after they had an affair.
Transcript:
Cop: Right. We found you out of it on V, covered in blood, burying the pieces of your wife and the pizza guy under a rosebush in the backyard. There's a bloody chainsaw in the bathtub, and from the looks of it, they had been shot in your bed. The murder weapons have your prints all over them, and you say you didn't do it.
Perp: Hell no! I'm a fall guy! I've been framed! It's a setup! I was getting too close to the truth, so they had to get rid of me!
Cop: This should be good. Your wife and the pizza delivery guy had to get rid of YOU?
Perp: No, nono- ... yeah, yeah, they were gonna whack me. Motherfuckers! They were gonna whack me! Steal my money! It was self-defense!
Cop: Right, your wife and the pizza guy were "trespassing" in your bed, and you killed them.
Perp: No! I didn't kill anyone! It's a frame-up! Weren't you listening?
Cop: Okay, now I get it. Your wife and the pizza guy deviously conspire to set you up. They kill themselves in your bed with your gun, proceed to chop each other to pieces in your bathtub with your chainsaw, and finally lure you to the backyard where they patiently wait under the rosebush to inject you with V, and when you are helpless, they leak blood all over you and call the police. ... anything to add?
Perp: See, that's just it! I wish it was that easy! I know this sounds crazy, but they weren't in on it alone! It's much bigger than that! Basically anyone who does home delivery is in on it! The mailman! And that means the government is involved! The mailman told me all about it!
Cop: So all we have to do, is get in touch with this mailman, and we get the truth.
Perp: See, that's not gonna work. He's dead!
Cop: The mailman's dead. I'm sure the DA would go easy on you if you would just come clean right now, and told where you buried his body. I suppose not under the same rosebush?
Perp: See what I mean? This is what I'm talking about, you're not listening! You fail to grasp how serious this is!
Cop: Okay. so how would you like to take this forward?
Perp: Give me a gun and set me loose, and I'll have this mess sorted out in no time!
Cop: Okay, wiseguy, the comedy hour is over. You shut up for a while so I can write this crap down.
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