the four attachment styles of love & attachment quiz (sage sessions #5)
This video describes attachment theory, the four attachment styles of "love," and includes a brief attachment style quiz.
How to score the quiz:
Attachment Style Assessment Quiz
This quiz will help you determine your primary attachment style. Answer each question honestly based on how you typically feel and behave in close relationships.
For each statement, select the option that best describes you:
1 - Strongly Disagree
2 - Disagree
3 - Neutral
4 - Agree
5 - Strongly Agree
I find it difficult to depend on others.
I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me.
I'm comfortable being close to others.
I rarely worry about being abandoned.
I feel uncomfortable when relationships become too close.
I need frequent reassurance that I am loved.
It's easy for me to be affectionate with my partner.
I'm nervous when partners get too close to me.
I often worry that my partner will leave me.
I find it easy to trust others.
I prefer not to show my true feelings to my partner.
I feel comfortable sharing my private thoughts with my partner.
I'm afraid that I will lose my partner's love.
I don't often worry about my relationships.
I get uncomfortable when a romantic partner wants to be very close.
Scoring
Tally your scores for each attachment style:
Secure Attachment:
Questions 3, 4, 7, 10, 12, 14
Anxious Attachment:
Questions 2, 6, 9, 13
Avoidant Attachment:
Questions 1, 5, 8, 11, 15
The category with the highest score indicates your primary attachment style. If you score high on both anxious and avoidant, you may have a disorganized attachment style.
Understanding Your Results
Secure Attachment: You're comfortable with intimacy and independence. You trust others easily and have positive views of relationships13.
Anxious Attachment: You crave closeness but often fear abandonment. You may seek frequent reassurance in relationships12.
Avoidant Attachment: You value independence and may be uncomfortable with too much closeness. You may have difficulty trusting or depending on others14.
Disorganized Attachment: You may have conflicting desires for closeness and distance, often feeling confused in relationships15.
Remember, attachment styles can change over time with self-awareness and effort. This quiz is a starting point for understanding your relationship patterns, not a definitive diagnosis
Top Recommended Quizzes
Experiences in Close Relationships (ECR) Scale
This is considered one of the most widely used and validated attachment style tests3. It has been:
Translated into 17 languages
Used in hundreds of academic studies
Shown to be highly accurate and reliable
Applicable across various groups (adolescents, older adults, same-sex couples, etc.)
Adult Attachment Questionnaire (AAQ)
This 17-item questionnaire is a validated measure of attachment avoidance and anxiety3. It classifies attachment patterns based on two dimensions.
Attachment Style Questionnaire (ASQ)
The ASQ has two key advantages3:
Focuses on close relationships in general, not just romantic ones
Allows for more precise assessment of specific facets of attachment
Relationship Scales Questionnaire (RSQ)
Developed by Griffin and Bartholomew, this 30-item questionnaire measures four attachment prototypes3.
Other Reliable Options
ECR-RS (Relationship Structures): A 9-item version that assesses attachment across different relationship types3.
ECR Short Version and ECR-12: Brief 12-item versions of the original ECR scale3.
R. Chris Fraley's Quiz: Offers both 4-minute (36 questions) and 15-minute (128 questions) versions, providing detailed results plotted on a quadrant1.
Diane Poole Heller's Quiz: A 45-question assessment by an attachment theory expert, offering nuanced results
***This "Sage Sessions" series will start broadly and in the next few videos I will start diving into each of the topics (ie attachment, autism, adhd, trauma, childhood, adult relationships etc) in MORE SPECIFIC detail (ie "what happens when someone with avoidant attachment ends a relationship..."
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