I Didn't Pump My Tire

Published: 18 July 2010
on channel: Brad Herder
21,871
137

I Didn't Pump My Tire by Brad Herder

Hey - I know my singing is downright terrible, but I couldn't get any of my friends to sing it... so had to myself.

New lyrics to Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire:

Gary Fisher, Joe Breeze, Greg Herbold, Philip Keyes
Jacquie Phelan, Cindy Whitehead, Susan De Mattei

Charlie Kelly, Thomas Ritchey, Oh my achin crotch is itchy
Bent Creek, Cane Creek, Richard Cunningham
[pause]
Bontrager, H-Ball, John Tomac, don't you fall
North Shore, Tap 'n Die, here's some Mud in your Eye

Espinosa, Flite Seat, England's got Steve Peat
Brett Tippie, Richard Schley and of course, Hans Rey

I didn't pump my tire,
Cause the ride was startin',
And I was still fartin',
I didn't pump my tire,
No I didn't do it,
Yeh I just said screw it

Wheelie Drop, Yard Sale, time for some Pale Ale,
Baggy Shorts, Skid Lid, love what Marla did

Dirt Rag, Tool Bag, Old Coot, Winter Boot,
Twist Shift, Flex Stem, had to have them

Shin guards, shoulder pads, handlebars to the gnads
Pedrosfest, Luna Chix, Oh My God, Baby Pix

9-speeds in the rear, XTR price I fear,
Cannondale, Go Pro, Specialized, Shimano

I didn't pump my tire,
'Cause the group was smokin'
And my pump was broken,
I didn't pump my tire,
No I couldn't bike it,
So I had to hike it

Missy, Myles, Carter, Boots, all flyin over roots
Tinker, Thomas, Ned 'n Bart, only see 'em at the start,

Niterider, Rock Ring, Bar Ends, Chris King,
Bruised Shin, Lizard Skin, Camelback and Singletrack.
[pause] Granny gear, Primal Wear, Bunny Hop, Kool-Stop
Smoke and Dart, Nevegal, gotta love 'em all

KHS and KMC, FSA and T.H.E.
Clydesdale, Cliff Shot, OMG I eat a lot

I didn't pump my tire,
'Cause the bead was broken'
And the group was jokin',
I didn't pump my tire,
Just decided to bail,
At the very next trail

Insta-flate, lots a lube, spare tire, No Tubes,
Pinch flat, taco'd wheel, love it when my pigs squeal

Monkey bars, Rhynolites, Airborne, insect bites,
Unicycles, single speeds, broken bones and bloody knees,

Steve da Weenie, Bike and Blade, Who Stole my Gatorade,
Dialed in, Fixed Cups, Crank Arms, MOJO charms

I didn't pump my tire,
'Cause the light was wanin'
And my eyes were strainin',
I didn't pump my tire,
I was ridin' the rim,
When my light got dim

IMBA, EFTA, NORBA, NEMBA,
Fire Roads, Double Track, eating at the Outback,
Bench cut, rake and ride, building bridges, stunts I've tried
WASHBOARDS, SWITCH BACKS, WHOOP-DE-DOOS and PUMP TRACKS

Taconic Crest, Lulu Brook, these are all trails I took,
Bob Mellace, Becky Barnes, Turner Trail has many cairns,
Endangered species, vernal pools, Damn State has too many rules
Officials say no way, but Johnny's gonna make them anyway!

I didn't pump my tire,
'Cause the day was endin'
And my wheel was bendin',
I didn't pump my tire,
'Cause my good ole' cell phone,
was my only way home

Some Notes:

Phil Keyes = is really pronounced like Eyes or Rise or Lies, not like Ease, Freeze, etc... so Philip Kize is the pronouciation.
Mud in your Eye = Seth Stritsman
Bruised Shin = Bob Birkby - more than just a bruise.
OMG I eat a lot = Park BBQ Tools
taco'd wheel = Will Bodine
love it when my pigs squeal = Beth's Herder
broken bones = Steve Scott
bloody knees = Shannon Clark & Brad Herder
Steve the Weenie = Himself
Bike and Blade = now known as Bike & Board
Too Many Rules = Working with the State is slow and frustrating, but ... we understand the need to protect resources.


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