Should You Date Someone Who Rejected You?
Clay Andrews answers the question, should you date someone who rejected you in the past? If you like these videos, you'll probably also love our book over at http://modernlove.life/book
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When someone rejects you, it can cause you to really think about that person a lot. In fact it's common for people to tell me that they are obsessed with someone who rejected them.
Okay, so maybe they don't say it in clear words like that, but I can tell that this is how they feel.
And if you're wondering if dating someone who rejected you is a good idea or not, it is first important to look at what your motives are.
Are you simply trying to prove them wrong or seek validation, then that is probably not a good reason to date them.
Hint: Getting validation from other people is rarely a great idea, whether or not they rejected you in the past.
But, if after examining your motives, you realize that you actually do want to be with this person because you believe that the two of you would make a good couple. And because they fit what you are looking for in a partner (not merely a source for you to gain validation for any perceived flaws), then it might be a good idea.
Next, if you want to know how to date someone who rejected you, the important thing is to make sure that the dynamic is balanced between the two of you.
There may be an instinct to put them on a pedestal or to see them as "above you" in some way because of the rejection that happened in the past.
Do NOT do this.
You must see each other as equals.
That is critical.
If you can't do this, then dating them is not a great idea.
I know that there are some people that say that you should never date someone who rejected you, but you can't based everything off of just one event, one breakup, one argument. If you're going to do this, then you believe that the single momentary events matter more than who you are as a person in a moment-to-moment basis, which, frankly is not true, and has not been my experience.
It's okay to date someone who rejected you if you do it for the right reasons.
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