The Dumbest Prison Escape Attempts Ever
These prisoners attempted some of the dumbest prison escape or break attempts that were ever tried. Prison break has nothing on these prisoners, or does it...?
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The thought of going to prison isn’t exactly the most soothing thing in the world. Being told when to sleep, when to wake up, when you can eat.. and then trying to determine what youre eating while watching your back and hoping you don’t take a shank in the kidney.
We start easy with the story of James Russell who was spending some time away from home in the Olympic Corrections center in Washington. Russell decided he wasn’t happy with his accommodations any more and that he would get out of the minimum security facility with no more than a mild plan to borrow a phone from the first person he came across.
Maybe Russell would have had more success had he implemented the plan of Kenneth Burnum, but then again.. maybe not.
Kenneth Burnum decided his best bet for getting out of jail was to impersonate someone else. The only problem is that the person he chose to be was black.
Andrew joseph Wilson is another high IQ inmate on our list as his escape attempt defies all logic and intelligence. Wilson was sentenced to only 20 days in the slammer for his crimes of burglary, theft.
But prisoners aren’t only this dumb in America, the stupidity spreads all across the world.. like one now infamous prisoner in Brazil who got stuck in a hole in the wall while trying to make his escape.
Now most people who plan to tunnel out or get out via a small opening would spend weeks planning, digging, and ultimately trying to lose weight to make sure that their plan went off without any issues. But one unfortunate prisoner out of a gang of four had obviously been hitting the commissary a little too hard as on his attempt through the hole, he got stuck.
Ranking high on our list of top prison escape movies of all time is the shawshank redemption in which tim robbins delivers a highly regarded and epic performance of a man who escapes prison through unlikely circumstance.
Also in prison escape attempts that stunk, William Alves decided he was tired of working in the prison kitchen and decided he would excuse himself from his sentence by stuffing himself in a trash can, covering up with leftovers and rotted food and would simply wait to be dumped.
Also inspired by the media and their portrayals of high class prison escapes, two men at a Louisville Kentucky prison got the bright idea to tie a bunch of bed sheets together and slither down the outer wall of their facility. The only problem is the men were either never boy scouts.. or sailors, because their make shift bed sheet ropes failed them miserably.
And in a more conventional approach, four inmates at the meade county jail in Sturgis decided rather than concoct some fancy scheme or escape plan, they would simply just fight their way out. At approx. 2 in the morning during a cell check, they decided to the guard making the rounds and then simply go bloodsport all the way to freedom.
Ralph Wilson was equally as smart when he tried to escape the ripley county jail by prying some fencing apart. The only issue is that he tried to do it at 415 in the afternoon, in broad daylight, while the prison was hustling and bustling.
And in perhaps the most creative and outlandish attempt at escape, a man who obviously didn’t have a pilots license or a certification with the FAA did his best attempt at reenacting Indiana Jones and the last crusade when he and his cohorts tried a Hollywood style escape attempt that even Michael bay would be baffled by.
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