Who Did it Better? Fluke vs. Keysight Bottle Opener Showdown
or "the time I turned my oscilloscope into a bottle opener"
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If you’ve ever been stuck in the lab late on a Friday night, you know there’s one tool you have to have to get you through to the weekend. I’ve been there, and when it gets late and the pressure’s on, no other tool will do.
That’s right, you gotta stay hydrated. And, the actual location of the Ballmer peak on the BAC to bugs fixed chart is a subject of much controversy, few people deny its existence.
That’s why I was so concerned when I saw our frenemies at Fluke launch a new handheld tool recently. Frankly, I’m shook, and I’m worried that our Keysight offering won’t hold up competitively. And we don’t take that lightly. Also, I love my Keysight bottle opener because it works so well, and if there’s a better option out there I’ll use that instead!
At first, I thought it was all a big joke, with their tongue-and-cheek description of it as a “professional refreshment tool.” But there’s a price and an ordering button, so I had to pick one up myself, I couldn’t stop myself. Weirdest expense report ever.
And it showed up! The question is, which one is better? The Keysight, or the Fluke? Let’s find out.
Ok, Keysight wins for hanging storage, but storage doesn’t matter if it doesn’t open bottles well. Normally I'd rope in my coworkers to test it out but since we're quarantined we have to get creative. Fortunately, we're quarantined with a few certified bottle experts who have taken to the bottle since before they could walk.
Looks like Fluke wins the princess test, too, but I'll take that one with a grain of salt. I think I'll be judge and jury this time.
After testing to the rigorous standards a project like this requires, I have to admit I like the Fluke bottle opener a bit better. We’re going to have to go back to the drawing board and figure this out – I know I can’t sleep at night knowing Fluke is winning this showdown – and our Keysight R&D teams work tirelessly to make sure we have the best tools commercially available. I have an idea to fix this competitive gap that just might work. I think I could turn an oscilloscope into the ultimate bottle opener.
Fortunately, I was able to get a hold of some scrap cases and we can experiment with mounting hardware, cutting tools, and bottle angles. I also have intermittent access to my usual studio workshop, so we’re going to bounce between there and my basement as access allows.
I’ve never worked with this plastic, which is an ABS blend, so it’s going to take some tinkering. I talked to our mechanical engineer, and he recommended just dropping some plastic screws in. I’m not so sure that’s going to be strong enough.
The first thing to figure out is placement. Everyone wants a bottle opener on their scope, no one wants their boss to know there’s a bottle opener on their scope. So, the obvious spot is on the back, and this will also be an easy spot to check material strength.
Unsurprisingly, our mechanical engineer was right, and screws into the plastic hold up pretty ok. It’s not perfect, though, I’d feel much better going into the sheet metal for at least one of these attachment points.
Our test-subject didn’t survive surgery, but we have two more so let’s take a shot at the final build. I should mention that it is a bad, bad, bad idea to do this on your test gear and shouldn’t try this, you’ll void your warranty and have to explain to people that you toasted your scope trying to make a scope for toasts.
We can use our test bucket to figure out exactly where to cut.
Welp, I think we’ve redeemed ourselves, I’m happy to declare us the winner of the April 1st 2020 battle of the bottle openers.
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